A quest for perfect sleep

4 ways an insomniac reclaimed her sleep

Post summary

• After two months of truly terrible sleep, one writer suffered insane physical and mental effects.

  • She’s not alone. As many as 1 in 5 people suffer from insomnia, and the results of this kind of sleep loss can be harrowing.

• She went on a scientific journey and spoke to experts to uncover data-proven strategies for better rest.

• Four simple methods helped her reclaim her sleep and get back on track. The methods can help anyone sleep better.

• You’ll learn:

  • What happens to your body and mind when you lose sleep.

  • The four methods that helped her sleep again.

  • How to think about sleeping pill use.

  • Why your family doctor may not always be the best person to talk to if you have sleep troubles.

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• ICYMI:

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Audio/podcast version

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The post

A quick note from Michael: In 2025, one of my goals for Two Percent is to bring in smart new voices. I mean skilled journalists who live interesting lives, understand science, and speak with experts often. This will infuse Two Percent with new reporting and ways of thinking and seeing the world.

Today’s post is by Emily Pennington. Emily is a writer, adventurer, and the author of Feral: Losing Myself and Finding My Way in America’s National Parks.

She’s written for outlets ranging from the New York Times and Wall Street Journal to Outside and Backpacker. Today, she’s joining us to write about sleep—how she lost and rediscovered it.

Here’s Emily:

At the onset of 2021, I was facing a severe sleep crisis that challenged everything I thought I knew about being human.

If that sounds like an exaggeration, I assure you, it’s not.

It was an admittedly weird year. I’d been living on the road in my minivan. Then three things happened: a global pandemic, a divisive election, and I split from a man I thought I would marry.

My body’s reaction to all of these life changes was odd. It stopped sleeping for two months straight.

I’m not unique: Up to 20% of Americans are affected by insomnia, and the condition is often brought on, like it was in my case, by life changes and stress.

For example, one study found people under high stress are up to three times more likely to suffer from insomnia. Other research shows that people under high work stress report 37 percent lower sleep quality and take 47 percent longer to fall asleep.

I eventually adapted to my life changes, and my stress dropped, but my poor sleep persisted.

Nighttime became an act of rolling around in my bed and praying to lose consciousness, which never came. On my best nights, I would get two or three hours of rest in fits and starts. On my worst nights, I wouldn’t sleep at all.

The science and consequences of sleep deprivation

The results of this kind of sleep deprivation on the body and mind are staggering.

• My nerves became completely frayed.

• My anxiety spiked off the charts.

• My temper ran rampant

• My memory and focus were nonexistent.

When I did get moments of sleep, they’d be interrupted by abrupt wake-ups where my heart would race, or I’d start sobbing for literally no reason(???).

I also—and this is totally weird—started tracking and fixating on bird and traffic noises so much that I broke a lease and moved out of an expensive Los Angeles apartment.

Let me assure you, I’m normally not a crazy person. But insomnia rendered me one.

It's well-documented that losing significant amounts of sleep can wreak havoc on your physical and mental health.

“Insomnia frequently precedes the onset of depression and increases the risk of depression,” said Michael Irwin, professor of psychiatry at UCLA Semel Institute for Neuroscience.

Other research shows extreme sleep deprivation leads people into madness: paranoia, hallucinations, wild mood swings, memory loss, and more.

Should you use sleep drugs?

My life stress faded over time, but I was still sleeping poorly. As someone who had been a lifelong “great sleeper,” I had no tools to get myself back on track.

What first pulled me out of my sleepless nightmare was consulting with a psychiatrist and going on a sleep medication.

But most experts advise against long-term sleep med use. Sleeping pills can have negative side effects and be addictive, and I didn’t feel like they gave me the type of deep, restorative sleep I got pre-breakdown. I saw the pills as a quick fix to stop the bleeding and then looked for a natural, long-term solution.

I had a credit card, a goal, access to experts, and a Google feed full of science-backed tips.

Do a sleep audit

Dr. Leah Irish, an associate professor of psychology at North Dakota State University, says that the first step to better sleep is to scrutinize your daily sleep habits and formulate a tailor-made plan for improvement.

“It is so easy to neglect our sleep in favor of other waking activities. We really have to make a conscious effort to prioritize sleep,” Dr. Irish told me.

She told me to start with a good old-fashioned audit—looking for obvious sleep roadblocks.

• Do you have a dog that sleeps on the bed and thrashes around all night?

• Is your room too cold, too noisy, or too bright?

• When do you drink your last cup of coffee?

• Do you drink alcohol?

• Are you resting before you go to bed or frying your synapses with epilepsy-inducing TikTok videos?

Those were some of the fundamental questions I asked myself.

I narrowed my list of problems to four key elements and began to adjust course.

1. Cutting coffee and alcohol

I stopped drinking coffee. It sucked.

Thankfully, Irish said I didn’t have to cut caffeine entirely. “Caffeine abstinence recommendations may be somewhat extreme,” she said, noting that drinking less of it in the morning and avoiding it in the afternoon is usually good enough.

I started my day with one cup of green tea. Coffee has about three times more caffeine than green tea, so the tea was enough to get me going but not keep me wired at night.

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends stopping caffeine at least 6 hours before bedtime.

I also stopped drinking alcohol on the nights I wanted to sleep—which was every night. Translation: I stopped drinking alcohol entirely.

Irwin says it’s a common misconception that drinking alcohol will help you sleep, a statement backed by scientific studies.

Alcohol decreases the total amount of REM sleep, so it can be worth cutting on nights you need better rest.

2. Ditching screens

I used to love dozing off to old rom-coms or Friends reruns. But some science suggests that blue light, which has shorter wavelengths than warmer light tones, promotes wakefulness.

The National Sleep Foundation says that getting this light within two hours of bedtime can disrupt your body’s natural sleep cycle. Light doesn’t impact everyone’s sleep, but can for many.

“If the problem is that you watch too much TV before bed, don't just say you'll watch less; remove the TV from your bedroom,” says Irish. Sounds extreme, but she’s found it ensures success. We can’t cheat and turn it on if we get bored.

I moved my TV and also placed my phone’s charger across my bedroom so I wouldn’t doom scroll in the wee hours.

3. Creating a dark, cozy sleep nest

Because random sounds and light were impacting my sleep, I spent a bunch of money on a white noise machine and velvet blackout curtains.

They didn’t help.

What did help was much cheaper and more portable: Mack’s Pillow Soft Ear Plugs and a cheap eye mask from Amazon.

I now genuinely can’t live without these two items. They’re also a game changer on airplanes and windy nights tent camping.

I also leaned into light in the morning. Irwin also suggests going outside in the morning to get direct, natural light, which pairs your circadian clock with the sun and helps tell your body to start making melatonin in about 14 hours.

“Even a 5 to 10-minute exposure to morning light can be effective,” he says.

This may not be necessary if you’re already sleeping well. But I was having trouble, so I did it.

• Go deeper: Read a deep dive on circadian science here.

4. Setting a regular sleep-wake schedule

When I was trying to solve my sleep problem on my own without expert advice, I would get in bed at 8:30 pm, assuming an earlier bedtime was better.

Irwin explained that this approach often backfires. He said it’s crucial not to toss and turn in your bed for more than 15 minutes. If that happens, it’s better get up and try again when you’re actually feeling sleepy.

In my case, going to bed too early led me to toss and turn for hours, which transformed my bed into an anxiety-ridden prison that I dreaded.

I had to do two things:

1. Find a regular time when my body was actually tired, which turned out to be around 11pm.

2. Stick to that time.

If you get strict about maintaining regular sleep and wake times, your biological sleep drive will acclimate, and you will likely sleep with less disruption, Irwin explained.

“Even if your insomnia kept you awake most of the night, still begin your day at the same scheduled wake time, and do not nap during the day,” he said.

If insomnia persists, find a sleep pro

After addressing the issues I identified, I’m thrilled to say I’m back to sleeping seven to eight hours every night.

I got off easy. I was able to take a hard look at my behaviors and make changes. But some people might need more assistance.

Yet when we’re sleeping poorly, we often ask our family doctor for help. Yes, this person is an M.D., but they may not be trained in sleep and may write you a prescription when all you needed was a sleep audit and simple changes.

Just like you’d see a cardiologist if you had a heart issue, a sleep professional can help you find “successful, evidence-based, non-pharmacological treatments for sleep disorders,” Dr. Irish said.

It’s important to get help. Insomnia isn’t just an annoyance—it’s a legitimate a medical condition that can severely impact your health.

These steps were my magic recipe to get my sleep back to healthy levels sans meds.

Your own magic recipe, however, will likely be different, said Irish.

Experiment. “The bottom line is that none of these suggestions are going to be harmful to your sleep long term, so you can feel free to give them a try and see how it goes,” she said.

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Thanks to Emily for writing the post. Have fun, don’t die, sleep.

-Michael