Notes On Mental Toughness

The truth about mental toughness and three ways to build it.

Post summary

• I recently gave a talk on mental toughness. I'll cover some points from that talk, including:

  • The conflicting and ambiguous research on mental toughness.

  • How I think about mental toughness in a way that I and others have found useful.

  • Three fundamentals of mental toughness and how to build them.

• The result: You'll be able to accomplish more and perform better—all with less stress.

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The post

Last week I was in Bozeman, Montana, to give a talk at MTNTOUGH's TOUGHFEST.

MTNTOUGH is a fitness app for people who like do epic outdoor activities—backcountry hunting, skiing, mountaineering, trail running, backpacking, etc.

TOUGHFEST is their annual community gathering. Hundreds of people come to work out, volunteer, think out loud, and celebrate the power of community and the outdoors.

Dustin Diefenderfer, the founder of MTNTOUGH, asked me to speak about mental toughness because the psychological quality is critical for success in outdoor pursuits and living life well.

It was 8 PM and the sun was beginning to set over the surrounding mountains when I began my talk.

In the weeks before, I'd thought a lot about mental toughness. This wasn't necessarily easy, because mental toughness isn't as straightforward as we often think.

The term "mental toughness" has become popular in sports, fitness, work, and military circles. It originated in legitimate psychology to basically describe the ability to remain calm, perform well, and persist when games, events, or life get challenging.

For example, some psychologists have defined it as "a psychological resource that is salient for challenging or stressful circumstances." Over the past two decades, hundreds of studies have been published on the topic.

Where mental toughness went wrong

But over time, mental toughness has been "bastardized, commercialized, and given magical powers." That's a strong statement—and that strong statement is from a team of researchers in the U.K., who studied mental toughness and how it’s now positioned in popular culture.

Those scientists concluded that it’s a “pseudo-concept” that isn’t sound psychology but is instead a catchphrase.

I get their point.

I've seen "mental toughness" used to promote all kinds of wacky ideas. For example, expensive retreats where pseudo-military instructors scream at you as you do thrasher workers, claiming the ordeal is going to help you get "mentally tougher" and better at everything. Exhibit A.

Of course, there will always be some misguided actors.

The truth about mental toughness

But I think those U.K. scientists are being a bit pedantic. They seem to be upset that non-scientists took their psychological language and used it in a way they don't agree with.

Most people are using ideas around mental toughness in a way that's going to improve their life.

And here's the thing: Even scientists can't agree on how to define mental toughness. One heavily-cited article opens with the following:

The literature on mental toughness is characterized by a general lack of conceptual clarity and consensus as to its definition, as well as a general failure to operationalize the construct in a consistent manner.

This ambiguity maddens researchers.

But for the rest of us, perhaps the term's ambiguity is a feature rather than a bug. It means that we can define mental toughness for ourselves in a way that helps us.

I see mental toughness as an ability to have perspective and make wise, long-term decisions in the face of stress and challenges.

And I think there are a few ways to get there—to build my idea of mental toughness. Here are three that have helped me.

Three ways to build mental toughness

1) Tell a different story

• Section summary: The stories we tell ourselves about a situation determine how we react. So tell yourself stories that helps you react the way you want to.

"Difficult is a story created in your mind beforehand."

That's a quote from Brian Enos, a champion marksman and Zen thinker. He's correct.

Humans are unique among species because we can tell stories and think in long-term abstractions. As things get hard—whether a workout, task at work, or backcountry adventure—we tell ourselves a story about what we're doing.

We tend to catastrophize—we get stressed, anticipate the worst possible outcome, and focus our attention on whatever makes what we're doing uncomfortable and challenging.

Research shows that stress:

• Narrows our focus: We begin thinking only about the stressor and ignore the good things happening in the moment or the long-term rewards that can come from what we're doing.

• Increases our impulsivity: It makes us more likely to quickly make decisions we regret. We go into short-term thinking mode and push long-term benefits aside.

Catastrophizing was likely good for the survival of our species—it helped us lower risk.

But nearly everything rewarding comes with some level of risk. And life, generally, is now far less risky—the risks we face today are different than those we did in the past.

Today we catastrophize about things we shouldn't and often make short-term decisions we later regret.

For example, you might be out on a run, backpacking trip, or backcountry hunt. And the moment the conditions turn imperfect, stress kicks in.

You begin telling yourself a story about how bad things are. You obsess about how you're tired, or cold, or how it's raining and how things are generally awful right now. And you quit.

In that moment, you're forgetting the greater reward and all the work that went into that moment. By quitting, you miss out on vastly greater long-term rewards that would have come from persisting.

Doug Kechijian, a friend of 2% featured in The Comfort Crisis, put it this way:

"No one thinks better under stress. The best performers are the ones who think less stupid under stress."

The lesson: When the going gets tough, the tough change their story and think less stupid.

They put the challenging moment in the greater context of their life, remind themselves of all the good things happening, and think long-term.

2) Enter the cave you fear

• Section summary: Tackle what you're afraid of, whether it's exercise, leaving a job you hate, or having tough conversations.

Those U.K. scientists didn't like how some marketers claimed that mental toughness in one area carried over to all other areas of life.

As mentioned above, some retreats and fitness programs say being able to get through some hellish workout while getting yelled at by an instructor will automatically make you better at everything. A better spouse, parent, worker, etc, etc, etc.

Pushing through challenges can of course improve our confidence and resilience. And any newfound confidence likely improves some other areas of your life—but it's definitely not a one-to-one.

The jump from "good at exercise" to "a good spouse, parent, etc" is tenuous. Those two tasks require different, often conflicting skills.

In fact, some people use exercise or work as a way to escape dealing with other problems that scare them. It's easier for some to go on a three-hour run than stay home and have to deal with a relationship or work issue.

A key to mental toughness is being willing to wade into scary waters, no matter where they lie. Mental toughness tends to live in sport, fitness, and military culture—but it really shouldn't.

You can and should bring it into different aspects of life.

For a person who hasn't exercised in years, those scary waters could be tossing on a pack and going for a three-mile hike. But for an IronMan finisher, the scary waters might be having an open and vulnerable conversation with a family member.

Joseph Campbell put the lesson from this one best when he summed up a key takeaway from thousands of ancient myths: The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

3) Embrace problems

• Section summary: View your problems as opportunities to improve.

The scholar Joseph Campbell, mentioned above, looked at thousands of years of myths from all around the world. He identified a common structure he called the hero's journey. It basically looks like this.

All great stories go something like this:

1. Things are good in the main character's life.

2. Then a problem inserts itself.

3. The main character hesitates. They don't want to deal with their problem. Problems aren't fun.

4. But the character accepts the call and works to solve their problem—by doing this they enter the unknown, a challenging world filled with uncertainties and hardships.

5. The main character struggles in this unknown world as they try to solve the problem. They face trials and tribulations and all the discomforts that come with solving problems.

6. But by tackling their problems and facing all the struggles that come with it, they become a new, better person. They're forever changed, because they've learned something about themselves and the world—and that knowledge forever changes them.

This cycle is how humans grow and improve.

But here's the thing: In real life, we often park ourselves in the hesitation zone.

We know we have a problem, but we ignore it and don't do anything about it. We're like the person mentioned above: We go on a long run instead of having a hard conversation.

By parking in the hesitation zone, yes, we avoid short-term discomfort. But we miss out on all the long-lasting lessons and benefits on the other side of that short-term discomfort. We don't grow and improve.

The lesson: Mentally tough people not only face their problems, they actually see problems as opportunities for growth.

For example, one review of mental toughness noted that one of its main qualities is "the tendency to see potential threats as opportunities for self-development and to continue to strive in changing environments."

Have fun, don't die, see problems as opportunities.

-Michael

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