I've realized that social media is like junk food for your brain. The apps are designed to create FOMO, encourage you to buy things you don't need and shape your thoughts on matters that you have zero control over. 20 years from now, social media will be viewed like cigarettes, glamorous in the early days and deathly in the end.
Michael, I agree with you that smartphones and social media probably are driving mental health problems, especially in young people, and that it is no accident that teenage mental health issues surged beginning around 2012, when smartphone use became ubiquitous. But, that also is roughly the same timeline that saw a surge in the phenomenon of helicopter parenting and an emphasis on protecting youth via safe spaces, trigger warnings, etc. Something I really love about your book The Comfort Crisis is its emphasis on exposing yourself to things that are hard. For the most part, you were talking about physical challenges, but I think it's undeniable that over the last 20 years, there has been a concerted and sustained movement to "protect" people from anything that is psychologically uncomfortable, and I personally think it is at least partially responsible for the fragility we see all around us, particularly in teenagers. A generation that has been perhaps the most protected and comforted in US history paradoxically--or not so paradoxically--has the highest rates ever observed of severe anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, etc.
Hey CJ, Thanks for the comment! I address your point here:
"Right before the rise of smart phones and social media, in 2011, young people didn’t have perfect mental health.
For example, mental health issues began climbing in generations born after 1990, which is when helicopter parenting became a thing. (I wrote about this in The Comfort Crisis.)
But starting around 2012, mental health issues boomed. This is when smartphones and social media became ubiquitous among young people."
The rise in overparenting-related mental health issues seems to have started with the generations born after about 1990. That pushed us in the wrong direction, then social media came in and pushed us even further.
Ive been off all social media (except youtube - does that count? probably) for 10 years now and have never looked back. I was very addicted in the algorithm in highschool so I always tell myself I've had enough social media for a lifetime
Thanks for speaking out about this issue, Michael!
My son is 17 and has no interest in getting a smartphone—has never had one. His plan is to get a flip phone when he heads off to University in the fall. He watches YouTube (mostly history content, current events, or silly animal videos), but he is not on any other social media. He’d much rather be outdoors hiking or in the garden, reading, writing, or gaming with friends.
I’m happy he has made this choice, but I know parents are in a difficult situation when so much of teen social life takes place online. As a society we need to figure out ways to connect teens again in real life—outside of school and adult organized activities. I’m fascinated by statistics around driving and how fewer teens are getting their license—they have less and less motivation to connect in person when their lives take place online.
I know my son is an N of 1 and has not had a traditional upbringing, but he gives me hope that with supportive adults and some good old fashioned rebellion (as young people are so good at) a shift can occur for this generation.
Hey Dawn, how did you do it?? I have a two year old and this topic freaks me out. In what way was your son’s upbringing non traditional, and how did this support his views on technology and social media? Thanks!
Hiya, Sarah! I hear ya about being freaked out. It's been a journey, for sure. We have been secular, child-led, project-based homeschoolers from the beginning. I added all those adjectives because sometimes just mentioning "homeschool" can throw up a red flag for people—it's often perceived as a way for parents to "shelter" their kids, but our approach has been the opposite. We wanted our kids to have a strong foundation in who they are as individuals and love learning and personal growth as a lifestyle. I think that has gone a long way in helping them maintain perspective when it comes to social media and not always falling in line with what their peers, or even their friends, are doing. Both of my kids, I have a 20yo too, spend a lot of time in multi-generational groups and benefit from a wide variety of perspectives. They have passions that they have been able to spend tons of time pursuing and fill their days with projects that are truly meaningful to them. This meaningful, deep work, gives them a purpose that often supersedes trends and what's "cool" to other people their age.
I truly feel fortunate that we have been able to provide our kids with a free and open household to grow into young adults who are confident in who they are as people. While I think it would have been more of a challenge if they were in traditional school, I think some of what we have done is still possible with schooled kids. (I taught high school before I had kids, so I am very familiar with that world.)
I could go on, but I will stop there. I'm happy to answer any other questions you have. Wishing you the best with your little one!
My wife (I helped some, but not as much as I would were we to do it again) homeschooled both of our kids. I suggested that approach because I did not want their minds polluted by the government indoctrination centers (also known as public schools). Both of my kids turned out to be independent thinkers.
Another benefit is they became more comfortable with a wider age range of people - from toddlers, teens to adults. When I attended school oh so many decades ago, everything was extremely stratified by grade level.
Love this! Raising 3 kids who are all in “pre-phone” age has me scared of what’s to come!
In the webinar you did before launching Scarcity Brain, you mentioned a screen time app that let’s you set a delay before the app opens… do mind sharing that again?
I've realized that social media is like junk food for your brain. The apps are designed to create FOMO, encourage you to buy things you don't need and shape your thoughts on matters that you have zero control over. 20 years from now, social media will be viewed like cigarettes, glamorous in the early days and deathly in the end.
Michael, I agree with you that smartphones and social media probably are driving mental health problems, especially in young people, and that it is no accident that teenage mental health issues surged beginning around 2012, when smartphone use became ubiquitous. But, that also is roughly the same timeline that saw a surge in the phenomenon of helicopter parenting and an emphasis on protecting youth via safe spaces, trigger warnings, etc. Something I really love about your book The Comfort Crisis is its emphasis on exposing yourself to things that are hard. For the most part, you were talking about physical challenges, but I think it's undeniable that over the last 20 years, there has been a concerted and sustained movement to "protect" people from anything that is psychologically uncomfortable, and I personally think it is at least partially responsible for the fragility we see all around us, particularly in teenagers. A generation that has been perhaps the most protected and comforted in US history paradoxically--or not so paradoxically--has the highest rates ever observed of severe anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, etc.
Hey CJ, Thanks for the comment! I address your point here:
"Right before the rise of smart phones and social media, in 2011, young people didn’t have perfect mental health.
For example, mental health issues began climbing in generations born after 1990, which is when helicopter parenting became a thing. (I wrote about this in The Comfort Crisis.)
But starting around 2012, mental health issues boomed. This is when smartphones and social media became ubiquitous among young people."
The rise in overparenting-related mental health issues seems to have started with the generations born after about 1990. That pushed us in the wrong direction, then social media came in and pushed us even further.
I hope that clarifies things. Thanks!
I clearly need to slow down and read more carefully. Or, have another cup of coffee beforehand.
Thanks!
Ive been off all social media (except youtube - does that count? probably) for 10 years now and have never looked back. I was very addicted in the algorithm in highschool so I always tell myself I've had enough social media for a lifetime
Thanks for speaking out about this issue, Michael!
My son is 17 and has no interest in getting a smartphone—has never had one. His plan is to get a flip phone when he heads off to University in the fall. He watches YouTube (mostly history content, current events, or silly animal videos), but he is not on any other social media. He’d much rather be outdoors hiking or in the garden, reading, writing, or gaming with friends.
I’m happy he has made this choice, but I know parents are in a difficult situation when so much of teen social life takes place online. As a society we need to figure out ways to connect teens again in real life—outside of school and adult organized activities. I’m fascinated by statistics around driving and how fewer teens are getting their license—they have less and less motivation to connect in person when their lives take place online.
I know my son is an N of 1 and has not had a traditional upbringing, but he gives me hope that with supportive adults and some good old fashioned rebellion (as young people are so good at) a shift can occur for this generation.
Hey Dawn, how did you do it?? I have a two year old and this topic freaks me out. In what way was your son’s upbringing non traditional, and how did this support his views on technology and social media? Thanks!
Hiya, Sarah! I hear ya about being freaked out. It's been a journey, for sure. We have been secular, child-led, project-based homeschoolers from the beginning. I added all those adjectives because sometimes just mentioning "homeschool" can throw up a red flag for people—it's often perceived as a way for parents to "shelter" their kids, but our approach has been the opposite. We wanted our kids to have a strong foundation in who they are as individuals and love learning and personal growth as a lifestyle. I think that has gone a long way in helping them maintain perspective when it comes to social media and not always falling in line with what their peers, or even their friends, are doing. Both of my kids, I have a 20yo too, spend a lot of time in multi-generational groups and benefit from a wide variety of perspectives. They have passions that they have been able to spend tons of time pursuing and fill their days with projects that are truly meaningful to them. This meaningful, deep work, gives them a purpose that often supersedes trends and what's "cool" to other people their age.
I truly feel fortunate that we have been able to provide our kids with a free and open household to grow into young adults who are confident in who they are as people. While I think it would have been more of a challenge if they were in traditional school, I think some of what we have done is still possible with schooled kids. (I taught high school before I had kids, so I am very familiar with that world.)
I could go on, but I will stop there. I'm happy to answer any other questions you have. Wishing you the best with your little one!
This is a great perspective Dawn, thank you for sharing!
My wife (I helped some, but not as much as I would were we to do it again) homeschooled both of our kids. I suggested that approach because I did not want their minds polluted by the government indoctrination centers (also known as public schools). Both of my kids turned out to be independent thinkers.
Another benefit is they became more comfortable with a wider age range of people - from toddlers, teens to adults. When I attended school oh so many decades ago, everything was extremely stratified by grade level.
Love this! Raising 3 kids who are all in “pre-phone” age has me scared of what’s to come!
In the webinar you did before launching Scarcity Brain, you mentioned a screen time app that let’s you set a delay before the app opens… do mind sharing that again?
Great one Michael! I needed this! Funny besucase i was just thinking a 2% Facebook group would be cool!
I'll continue to hit the bypass key on Smartphone ownership